goodbye Alice in Wonderland

I'm craving reality. This life, this place seems so... lacking. I've been provoked to think about the difference between dreaming and pretending, which at first confused me a little bit. I didn't understand the comparison, but on further reflection I've come to some conclusions. I feel young, lacking experience, and inferior. Who am I to speak? I am speaking from where I am at, not knowing all the answers, just in search thereof. I've gone back and forth in times past between dreaming and pretending. Dreaming is more the thought of pretending without being put into motion, while pretending is the playing out of a dream... but still it is only that, and can never be reality. At what point does pretending become real? There's a fine line sometimes even between reality and pretend, a line I have flirted with, a line I have crossed over, a line I have all together ignored... treating all as reality, and ultimately, as truth. My truth. That line should be completely obvious, but at some point the blinders go on and denial is embraced. Let the good times roll, but all is hebel and in vain. Pretending comes to an end... pretending is entertaining pretty lies... In search of reality and of truth, I say goodbye to Alice in Wonderland.